Courting D- Chapter 1
Written By Neko Athena^o,o^
Rating: PG-13 (language, shounen ai)
Comments, Rants, Etc.: neko_athena@hotmail.com
Check out her site: NA's Pet Shop of Horrors


^o,o^ "Well, folks, it is I, back from.... the equivalent of Hell, basically. But, however, when I can no longer bear my life, I turn to this: Writing pointlessly stupid fanfiction. This is my first Pet Shop of Horrors fic, so I would like some feedback. There is shounen ai, but I don't have the guts to do lemons, so nothing graphic at all. Basic plot, Leon wants to ask D out, but since he has only recently allowed himself to realize he is attracted to D, he doesn't really know how to go about asking another guy out. So, he tries to show D that he likes his feminine qualities, and that he isn't afraid of him while getting in touch with his own feminine side. It doesn't exactly go as our favorite detective plans, but you won't hear him complain at the end!! R&R, and enjoy! Oh, yeah, and don't you ever hate dodging those ladies at the mall?? I know I do..."

Character "speech"
Character [thoughts]
~*~*~ scene change

::Leon stood at the counter of Nuevo Biologique at the local mall, utterly and completely clueless. The lady standing in front of him was made up like a clown from Hell, and her hair was bleached a decidedly unnatural shade of blonde. Her skin looked like tanned leather, and was stretched too tight across her rouge-smeared cheekbones, a testament to many facelifts. She smiled, disturbing Leon quite a bit, considering it appeared she had fangs. She spoke in a deep, throaty, sinister-type voice.::

Lady "Welcome, sir. How may I help you?"
Leon "Um......."
Lady "Shopping for a lady-friend?"
Leon "Uh......."
Lady "And what is her skin type, hm? We have an excellent promotion for out deluxe More Make-up than You'll Ever Need kit, it comes with a free leatherette travel case and an umbrella-"
Leon "Er......."
Lady "We also have a new product that was just released today. Immortality Wrinkle-Erasing Line-Smoothing Hydroxal Exfoliation Mach XIV is made from wing membrane extracts from a rare species of endangered fruit bat in Ecuador, which is the active ingredient that, combined with the finest eye-jelly from the Fire Newts of the Falkland Islands, actually reverses the aging process throughout the body. Also contains Perhybolated nectarine dermis that acts as a-"
Leon "Ah.........."
Lady "Sir... are you considering a purchase with Nuevo Biologique?"

::She was getting suspicious, since Leon hadn't blinked since she began her sales pitch. Leon did so slowly, trying to force out all of the information he had been bombarded with so he could remember why he had come. Finally, after careful consideration, he answered.::

Leon "Yes."
Lady, brightening "Very good, sir! Now, what do you think you would be interested in purchasing?"
Leon "Well..." [Think, man, THINK!!! What would that little devil like? What would he actually USE?..............Well, he's always so pale........ maybe some] "Foundation?"

::The uncertainty in Leon's voice was like a limp in a baby gazelle. An even wider smile crept across the woman's face as she went in for the kill.::

Lady "Oh, exellent choice, sir! We have just the thing... What tone would you say you would need."
Leon "Uh... probably the lightest, whitest thing you've got."
Lady, blinks "Okaaaaay... (you asked for it)..."

::The lady pulls out a welding helmet and straps it on. She bends behind the counter, producing a small ivory compact. Carefully tilting it away from herself and toward her customer, she cracks it open. A glaring, blinding white sheen issues forth. Leon blinks several times, and she closes the compact. The saleswoman lifts the helmet.::

Lady "Is that about the right shade?"
Leon, shrugs "It'll do..."


::Three hours later, Leon kicked open the door to his apartment, spit his keyes out of his mouth (yes, that's actually how he got in), and managed to get as far as the kitchen counter before setting down the seven loaded shopping bags in his arms and practically collapsing. After finally catching his breath and willing himself to stand, he begins to rifle through the bags to see just what the hell he bought. Just about the only products the psycho-saleswoman didn't talk him into buying were the ones made from animal parts. Leon was positive D would not like that. She had also assured him that the products weren't tested on animals. He prayed she was right, he did not want this to go wrong, he needed this to work! As he organized the various compacts and bottles, jars and decanters, the detective mulled over his relatively-newfound attraction to the pale Chinese pet shop owner. Discovering his hidden attraction to the man was startling enough. The fact that Jill had practically cracked up at the fact that he was the last one to see it confused him almost to the point of no return. However, she had calmed down and suggested that Leon try to be sensitive to D's own feelings toward him. Over the last couple of animalistic homicide cases, he had picked up on something that had frightened and yet thrilled him; D was interested in him as well! Jill's advice had been his bastion of sanity in this new territory. She coached him to keep up the constant chocolates and sweets, but to also expand to something a little more intamate in the gift department. She had suggested that Leon let D know he was also interested in a relationship by showing him that he was comfortable with D's more feminine appeareance and demeanor. So, Leon had come to a decision; buy D something to appeal to D's feminine side. And that's how he had landed at the make-up counter at the mall.::

Leon, sniffing the air "DAMMIT!! That one chick nailed me with that perfume-crap!!"

::Suddenly remembering his commitment to D, he quickly ammends his outburst.::

Leon "Not that there's anything wrong with perfume... it smells-" makes face "-lovely *gag, choke* sooooooo pretty... *hack, gasp* Need... shower..."

::Leon dashes into the bathroom to rid himself of the overpowering floral scent. As he strips off and hops in, he decides to burn his clothes. An hour later, he emerges, feeling cleansed and refreshed, and ready to head over to the pet shop. He had carefully chosen his wardrobe for this specialest of evenings; a light pastel (pink) button-up shirt, freshly-ironed kahkis, and spotless white tennis shoes. He whistled out into the hall, tucking in the shirt and fastening each button before grabbing the bag he had assembled of everything he thought would be appropriate for a first-date-type gift. Then, he bustled out of his apartment and down to Chinatown.::


End Chapter 1


^o,o^ "Well, should I continue this fiasco? Are you curious to know what Leon is going to do with the mountain of make-up? Will D like the present? Will Q-chan look CUTER THAN EVER? Is anyone reading this? Review, and I might answer these and even more questions in the next exciting chapter!"

chapter 2

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